What Is Your Definition of Do Nothing?

Have you ever been in a season where you had to get to know yourself again? Spend time with yourself? Date yourself? Do you ever get so caught up in restoring, planning, creating solutions to your own prayers, (haha, laugh at me, but I know I'm not the only one), and maintaining work that you forget that you have to live and enjoy life too? What does that look like for you? Or maybe you've been so caught up, that you don't remember how to....... I'm sure those who can relate can fill in the blanks with something.

Now, this conversation may not be for you. Perhaps you take vacations regularly and you've been there, done that, and no longer get mentally caught up unexpectedly, during what feels like the worst time. If this is not your story, I celebrate you. If it is, then go with me here for a few minutes.

I'm on vacation for the first time in years, doing what I want to do. No phones, no networking, no schedules, no regimens, no set times. Now, I have imagined this moment for quite some time, telling myself that when it happens, I'm going to "do nothing." No hats, no makeup, no lashes, no expectations or schedules, just my shiny naked bald head and beautiful brown skin, basking in the glorious day.

And then it finally happened, vacation time. And everything I said I wouldn't think about crossed my mind. Nobody on this island is bald but you, perhaps you should wear a hat. This is your first time doing this alone, what do you like to do? Should I stick to my workout schedule? Do I explore my own options, or go with the planned itinerary? Or, maybe for you it's your kids, your partner irking your nerves, your period came early, your insecurities about how you look and what others will think of you, should you eat this and that, your social media- (should you update your audience or really just stop and live in the moment), your finances-(gotta strategize and quickly recoup that savings.) Whatever it is, your mind is moving in the opposite direction, while vacation time is quickly trickling down. You have the planned itinerary in hand; do you go along to get along or do you quickly change up? What does "do nothing" look like for you?

Everyone's definition of "do nothing" may not be the same. I had lunch with friends before my trip. We'll just call them Dave and Sam. Dave gave us a brief description of his definition of "do nothing", and what his vacations typically look like. He goes to his lake house, works out at 5am, waters the plants, walks the dog, makes a big breakfast, goes grocery shopping, picks up a nice bottle of wine, cooks a fantasy dinner for later, (no macro counts on vacay) and goes on an afternoon jog or a challenging hike all before 1:30 in the afternoon. I asked him, "how do you feel by the end of the day?" Dave said, "sleepy, accomplished, happy, and peaceful." I thought, that sounds like an amazing time. Sam, on the other hand replies with, "That sounds exhausting! Why do you need to feel challenged and accomplished on vacation? If I were you, I would be laid out in my underwear, enjoying the lake at my lake house." :) Gotta love Sam..

My takeaway? My "do nothing" had to be about me, who I am, what I desired, what I needed, and to be 100% present in those moments. Once I gathered myself and decided to forego the planned itinerary, my time consisted of: Gym? Yes. Kicking my socks and sneakers off and sipping frothy matcha tea on the open deck while reading a book, -in my sweaty workout clothes? Heck yeah! Spa? Definitely. Art shows? Absolutely. But my all-time favorite moment: embracing my baldness in the midst of the unknown.

To my bald sisters, it does not matter how many times I walk into a room as a bald woman, I always encounter a place or situation where it feels like my first time. It's scary and it makes me question my confidence. But what is confidence if not based on faith? I find that no matter how much I self-prepare for these unexpected moments, nothing beats inviting God into that space. Even the bible says in 1 Timothy 4:8, "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." Sometimes when I fear removing my hat and walking into something new and unknown, I know that I have to do it anyway. Why? Because there may be something meaningful on the other side of that insecurity. And God is so amazing, he meets me where I am, fills me with peace, and aligns my purpose to my pain. I never imagined encountering people on my vacation who were privately struggling with alopecia, or a difficult illness they needed to discuss. To have the opportunity to listen, encourage and be encouraged by them was an unforgettable moment in time. It was me, living in the present, modeling God's grace and mercy, while feeling the boldness, freedom, and empowerment that comes with being myself.

Out of every glorious moment on that vacation, the one that required me to step out on faith was the one I treasure the most.

A week after I returned, I found myself sitting with Dave for a quick work lunch where he asked me the same question, "at the end of the trip, how did you feel? I said, "like I could live in that presence of peace, forever and always (more on that later), and I felt relaxed, heard, accomplished, loved, and free."

What about you? What does your "do nothing" look and feel like?

Reference:

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

1 Timothy 4:8 NIV - For physical training is of some value, - Bible Gateway